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Copyright Ilan Kelman 2007

Today, driving over an overpass, I saw something that, well, warranted me taking the time to write a post about it. I’m sure this is actually something that many people have seen before (or something like it). I mean, anyone who’s driven by what I saw since it was put there has seen what I saw, and it’s a kind of busy overpass so that’s probably a lot of people. But for those who haven’t seen something like this (GASP!), I’ve now got a venue in which I can share my experience with you.

It was a toilet. On the side of the road. A freaking porcelain throne. It didn’t even look that old or broken or anything. It was just sitting there on the tiny shoulder (is it still called a shoulder on a bridge?).

Now, there’s littering, and then there’s littering. Hot damn.

And what’s the story there? How does a toilet end up sitting on the side of a road anywhere, let alone on an overpass? I can’t imagine that someone put it in the back of their pickup truck intending to drive it to the dump, with it falling out halfway there only to land unharmed and standing upright. If gravity worked that way, I wouldn’t be labelled a klutz. For argument’s sake, though, let’s say the first half of that story were correct. That would mean someone had to have stopped, looked at this discarded shit bucket, and then righted it before driving off. But if the beginning of that story were true, HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE A TOILET FALLING OFF THE BACK OF YOUR VEHICLE? I feel as if that would be almost like not noticing you got hit by a deer until you got home and saw the dents in the side of your car.

No, I just don’t understand it, but it still has me thinking. If I ever come up with a good explanation, or at least a funny back story, I may just write about it. Keep an eye out for that short story.